He might think I was joking but NO I'm not. Bila ditanya lg skali after few days the answer was different and I'm a little bit upset of course. He has giving me an empty hope!! That's the reason of my frustration. Kalaulah dr awal abg ckp tak payah ke, nnt syg ssh or pape reasons yg tak mmbuatkn ak rs berharap then OK lah tapi ini tidak. Dah agak lama ak noticed satu bnd psl abg since last 2 years I don't know.....bila ditanya apa2 abg akan jwp seolah2 dia tak berfikir dan jawapan dia akan berubah after some times which is not a good attitude at all. Bukan ke org lelaki biasanya fikir dulu apa dia akan ckp sebab akal mereka yg 9 tu. Org perempuan biasanya yg akan jwp without realizing apa yg dia maksudkn. Selalu dah camni cemana sue tak upset.
OK.....sebenarnya kalau ikut result degree tu mmg tak ckup nk support application nnt but still I want to try my luck. Konon nk memain dan test market la mula2 tp turn out to be more serious.Seriously I want this like soooo sooo sooooo to be true with some kind of miracle help. Actually there are reasons kenapa sue nk sgt keluar daripada Malaysia ni and that decision across my mind rapidly. Suddenly otak ni mcm boleh recall what had happened in my life for past few years...most likely vision eh yg mcm dlm citer harry porter....eh yeker???? hahahaa....
Abg tanya "sue sebenarnya nk study or nk g oversea?" Gosh....I'm offended and what type of question was that!!! If abg fikir sue cuma buat sbb nak ikut org abg salah tau. Banyak benda yg sue sendiri fikir tapi tak mampu sue nk share dgn abg.Just don't know how to explain and make u listen. Sue cuma blh bgtau shima all the reasons but she seemed very sad smpi takmo ckp dgn sue takmo text sue bagai. No one support me right now except mak la yg tak putus2 bg smangat.
Sue ada alasan sendiri, first and foremost is because mmg sue nk buat full-time Master. Tak kisah la if buat in local university pon still takmo part-time. Secondly, mmg sue nk sgt keluar dr Malaysia sbb nk hirup udara negara lain kat bumi Allah ni. Sue nk cari pengalaman baru kat tempat org bukan setakat nk berjalan sehari dua but I want to live a life there experience their culture, lifestyle and so on which I can't get in my own country. Dalam dunia ni ada yg lebih besar nilainya daripada duit ringgit.....and I called it "pengalaman". I wish to find myself back. Thirdly, sue bebetul merajuk dgn TM and to be precise dgn bosses yg seolah2 menyekat rezeki sue bila sue sepatutnya dah dpt post exec kat Menara tapi takmo release dgn alasan yg mcm2. Sue, abg and other colleagues pon marah bila dpt tau bosses camtu tapi nk buat cemana saya ni ikan bilis jer (yeker tgk dah kembang mcm ikan kembung je wak hihihihi). Dah kalo bukan rezeki cemana buat pon ttp takan jd milik sue kan. Keempat sebab sue nk sambung study adalah kerana kami belum ada rezeki tuk ada anak. It's going to be the 4th years this coming May 2014 tipu lah kalau sue tak sedih tapi I chose not to think much and trouble myself. Kwn2 sue yg lain sume dah nak masuk 2org anak dorang. Tak guna merungut kan sbb rezeki kita Allah da agih2kan. Lebih baik sue blajar mungkin itu juga rezeki dari sudut lain kan.
Sue tak salahkan abg pon and will never coz sue paham maksud abg bila abg kata we've to think of our commitments all the loans cars and many others. Kalau ikut sue stahun bukan lama tp at the same time sue faham u won't quit ur career for this small silly thing. I didn't say "job" coz u can always find other if u willing to but once u've build up career it is almost impossible to give it up right.
To be honest sue tak yakin pon sue akan dapat smbng oversea ni sebenarnya. I just wanna see how they react towards it. Sue nk tau siapa yg always ada dgn sue thru good times and bad. And if miracle happen say sue dpt possibility sue pergi sendiri agak tinggi juga kot tp apa pon sue ttap tau abg adalah kewajipan sue dunia akhirat...........Kalaulah abg faham dan baca apa yg sue cakap ni huhuhuhu. Yang penting kita tak abaikan TANGGUNGJAWAP kita kan awak :)
L.O.V.E
suhada
No comments:
Post a Comment