Duduk balik ngn mak abah..haha :D

Day 2 angkat barang tadi...Alhamdulillah 10% to be completed. Rasa janggal plak tp lucu pon ada. Bujang duk ngn mak abah lps kawen malam trus balik Banting, alih2 skrg duduk balik ngn dorang upon request. Sue tak kisah sgt la tp sumenye dgn persetujuan abg, walaupun parent sndiri tp kalau abg tak stuju pindah dl i'll never be here back again. Apa pon abg ttap priority sue wlpun u always say "tak kisah!" apa yg abg kisah eh?? hihi

Badan n kpala sume letih tp kan...since sue met zara haritu smpi skrg sue asik terbayang senyum dia jer. Rugi tak amik video dia maklumla bz besembang ngn daddy dia jgk huhuhu. Yg paling mcm takleh blah bila sue pandang anak kecik age/height mcm zara mst tetiba senyum sndiri. Aaiihh apa zara dah "racun" aunty eh smpi aunty jd takleh lupa kat awk ;) Sue bgtau mak n ain sue jmp zara pastu td sue bgtau abg jgk that sue jumpa puteri kecik ms pegi dipndip haritu. Macam tak blh berenti fikir and talk bout her. Senyum dia, ketawa dia, pemalu tp friendly dia, dgr kata dia. Seriously part yg paling lawak buat sue bukan takat senyum sndiri tapi smpi dah ketawa sorng2 bila she pronounce her nama. It's not zara i heard but "zaya" instead hahahhaha (see dah almost 2:00A.M pon gelak sorang). Zara dlm proses nk membesar so dia tend to repeat whatever dia dgr. Sue ckp panas dia "anas" org sebut sejuk dia pon "cejuk" ke "jejuk" aunty pon kurang phm syg.

OK cakap aa aunty gile pon i accept jer bcoz of u Zara haha... She really tooks my heart away!! To be honest to myself u have aunty's "heart" dear. Sorry guyz but from now on u have to learn sharing my heart with Zara, sharing is caring ;) Takut space tuk zara lg besar nnt i dont know tau! hihihi

Hhmmm...tp bila fikir realitinya i was just dreaming. Zara makin besar and sue tak blh jmp zara lagi tuk main or tgk dia. Bila zara da pandai bercakap sepenuhnya dah faham that i'm not even her mummy's friend dia akan pening nnt. Kalau aa aunty blh bgtau zara yg aunty n daddy zara sebenarnya mmg agak close tp tak blh la syg. Nanti aunty akan sakitkn hati mummy zara plak wlpun xde niat lansung aunty nk wat camtu :|

Aunty akan tgk zara dr jauh jelah kot...perhaps u'll not be able remembering me bcoz zara sgt kecil skrg tp aunty takan lupa wut we did together ms kita jumpa haritu. it's our pinky promise ms daddy suh zara buat haritu hihihi. Rezeki aunty la dpt jmp zara wlpun kejap but it will be one of my precious lifetime memory. Doa aunty menyusul zara wlpun kt tak jmp ok

Nite princess see u in my dream :)

Finally incidentally met Zara the adorable princess!!

Just wanna write short entry bout an adorable princess named Zara Medina. Love to call her princess coz Zara itself means "princess" if not mistaken. Lama dah bila sembang dgn en Ikhwan mst ckp psl nk jmp Zara tp mmg mimpi jelah sbb mummy Zara garang hahahha....

Harini mmg sue plan nk mkn Molten Cake kat dipndip just myself alone! Dont feel like chatting with anybody I mean anybody even my best friend. Sometimes I need to sit, talk and listen on my own. Make it short Allah tentukan segala2nya and I finally met Zara. Her daddy had some business matter I guess with someone around that area. When I first saw Zara hati sue mmg happy giler coz seriously dia cute n gojes gile! Ikhwan ckp "Zara so like daddy!" (perasan hokey) What makes me said that??? Sebab Zara sgt murah dan manis dengan senyuman. Soalan paling lawak for me was I have to ask whether she can speak Malay! hahahha funny okey....biasa anak org Melayu kt mst tanya can speak English or not rite ;D

Proven yg Zara mmg anak manis bila she can easily got others attention,flying kiss bagai hokey! Just like Adam bila tgk Zara bezanya Adam lebih lasak sbb dia boy. Dengar kata sgt this cute princess...bila suruh kiss aunty dia kiss bila mntak hug dia bg. How lucky la awk kan ;)

Tak lama pon tp bila tgk Zara I feel happy, layan dia jap and of coz ada sket rs cemburu dgn Ikhwan, ada sket sedey sbb sue tak dibagi kesempatan lg tuk merasa "keseronokan" tu. To have such an adorable princess tengok senyum dia yg tak putus2, ketawa dia mmg buat sue berfikir how lucky when any married couple after certain period can become a parent. Tak tau lah bila lg blh jmp Zara but aunty's pray goes to u darling. Semoga Zara besar jd puteri yg baik, bijak just like ur parent, yg menyenangkan hati family, jadi penyejuk mata semua org, dgr whatever mummy daddy ckp ye syg. Having u must be the greatest blessed for mummy n daddy. I wish I pray one day I'll hv an opportunity to be in ur shoes wak ;)

Tq ;)

L.O.V.E.Z.A.R.A

H.a.p.p.y.B.i.r.t.h.d.a.y.S.u.h.a.d.a.2.0.1.4

Sue tgh tulis entry ni sambil layan lagu Afghan-Jodoh Pasti Bertemu. Lagu ni slow layan sgt plus suaramu Afghan lunak dan bikin ak senang banget! haahaha... He's one of my fav Indonesian singer!

Afghan Jodoh pasti bertemu ;)

OK nk citer psl birthday sue 2014. There were few bitter sweet memories created. Apa yg sue blh ckp Alhamdulillah syukur sbb masih diberi kesempatan merasa usia baru dlm keadaan masih punya insan2 tersayang around sue. I feel blessed and happy. Tahun ni sue dpt dgr 3 different version of birthday songs sume dgn gaya masing2. Ada yg tak mntak dah sndiri nyanyikan, ada yg kena request skali dpt ada plak kena request 100x baru dpt dgr hahahaha

So far abg TAK pnah lupa lagi tarikh 15.Feb every year and even on that day if kami cam ada misunderstanding at least sue tau abg tak lupa. Abg akan bgtau few days before, nnt besday sue da nk smpi what so ever. Seriously sue tak blh trima kalo abg lupa besday sue tau! Sama jgk mcm anniversary date abg takleh lupa sbb nnt dia mst susah! hihihihi.....No matter how bz he was what ever he does i hope u'll always remember these 2 big days in our life abg. Itu kelebihan abg yg ssh sue nk dpt rsnya walaupun kat sape2 n Tq for that. Tahun ni takde surprise from abg but it's ok and expected actually. Paling teruk skali wlpun sue mnta abg ingt sume tu sue sndiri ada satu tahun tu lupa birth date abg. Sue da ingt few days b4 tp on that actual date sue bz smpi lupa and luckily abg bkn jenis org yg celebrate. He didnt even like celebrating it smpi last few years. Tapi sejak kawen sue ajar yg itu tarikh penting so tak salah kt celebrate dgn org kt syg. Sue nk ajar abg bnd2 kecik ni yg akan mengeratkan kasih sayang family. Sue diajar tuk ingt dan bg jadiah wlpun satu bar cadburry chocolate yg murah tu. Mak start ajar dr sekolah rendah kl tak silap.

Tahun ni abah wish besday sue which was sgt comel wlpun sikit awkward. Nampak abah lain sgt masa sue kecik n dah kawen ni. Apa pon abah buat sue happy dan sue sayang abah!! Kami rapat sgt skrg, abah suke peluk sue suke picit2 lengan sue yg gumok ni. Yes, sue happy!

Sedih pon ada jgk tahun ni bila 13.Feb malam tu sue kena bermalam kat spital sg. buloh teman ain. Sue willing sbb kesian dgn ain. Tak blh la tgk org yg sue sayang sakit. Walapun dia tahan nk nangis depan sue tp sue tau apa ain rs. Kalau sue pon sue akan nangis slalu dlm keadaan sakit camtu tp ain agak kuat. Ada skali bila dia nangis sue biarkan bkn sbb tak nmpk tp nk bg dia keluarkan apa yg terpendam. Tak salah pon menangis tp sue as kakak kena nmpk mcm kuat tuk dia. Byk sgguh dugaan ain tp itulah ketentuan tuk dia. Alhamdulillah 15.Feb pagi dpt berita gembira yg ain dah masuk OT tuk 2nd operation within 2 weeks!! How painful kan!!! Itu pon consider hadiah besday sue sbb dah tak sanggup tgk dia dilayan mcm tikus putih bila masuk gov hospital. Pengajaran tuk kami semua and abg dah pesan tulah gunanya dia amik insurance/MC tuk sue so that if anything happen sue tak ssh. Kdg2 benefit company pon tak ckup nk tampung kos perubatan plus private hospital sometimes takleh pakai gak. Charge unreasonable tp service hampeh like what ain been through at KPJ. Apa pon dgn semua kwn2 yg sue syg semua sue akan pesan plz amik life insurance+MC sometimes dah mcm sue plak ejen padahal im not ok.Not even interested being an agent. hahahaha.... Penyakit skrg mcm2 tak kenal usia tapi doa sue ckuplah ujian buat ain. Dia adik sue dan sayang sue kat dia smpi sue rs biarlah sue rs sikit sakit dia tu. Hopefully lps ni ain sihat dan tak sakit2 lagi...sue pon nk sihat jgk sbb sue takmo sshkan org jaga2 sue sume ;)
Kredit tuk shahir sbb being such a very good husband. Dia tak pnah berkira dan ckp dia penat pon. Everytime tanya dia akan ckp "ak blh handle dont worry" Semoga Allah je yg balas semua tu bro. Penyabar sgguh kamu smpi nk jg ain pon kene curi2 masuk sepital tu. You are just lucky sis :)

Apa pon semoga sepanjang tahun 2014 ni sue akan lebih sukses, menjadi hamba yg lebih baik, perbaiki diri dr semua sudut, dipermudahkan dan dilimpahkan rezeki yg byk (kerja + anak2). Apa pon ujian utk sue hopefully Allah selalu ada, abg selalu paham wlpun abg sibuk. Sue pon nk cuba kurangkan merungut psl keje abg inshaaAllah. Biarlah kalau tu blh buat abg happy i should be happy too. Orait ngantuk dah lama sgt plak lagu si Afghan ni duk pusing2. Special gratitude to all my beloved with lots of hugs and kisses. Love u all ;)

Regards,
-Suhada- ;)

I want to do this sooo badly!!!

After quite some times I'm glad that I can have this kind of feeling ever again. Can't actually remember when was the last time but right now I wish this dream could become reality so badly. Things started last 2 weeks I guess when I first saw MARA advertised an offer for post graduate study. Wasn't really interested till sue ask abg whether or not I can give it a try. He was like so supportive by saying "YES u can n abg akan ikut la kl syg pegi". I ask him back "abg tau kn ni tuk further oversea?" and dia angguk. Quite surprised but happy at the same time!! 

He might think I was joking but NO I'm not. Bila ditanya lg skali after few days the answer was different and I'm a little bit upset of course. He has giving me an empty hope!! That's the reason of my frustration. Kalaulah dr awal abg ckp tak payah ke, nnt syg ssh or pape reasons yg tak mmbuatkn ak rs berharap then OK lah tapi ini tidak. Dah agak lama ak noticed satu bnd psl abg since last 2 years I don't know.....bila ditanya apa2 abg akan jwp seolah2 dia tak berfikir dan jawapan dia akan berubah after some times which is not a good attitude at all. Bukan ke org lelaki biasanya fikir dulu apa dia akan ckp sebab akal mereka yg 9 tu. Org perempuan biasanya yg akan jwp without realizing apa yg dia maksudkn. Selalu dah camni cemana sue tak upset.

OK.....sebenarnya kalau ikut result degree tu mmg tak ckup nk support application nnt but still I want to try my luck. Konon nk memain dan test market la mula2 tp turn out to be more serious.Seriously I want this like soooo sooo sooooo to be true with some kind of miracle help. Actually there are reasons kenapa sue nk sgt keluar daripada Malaysia ni and that decision across my mind rapidly. Suddenly otak ni mcm boleh recall what had happened in my life for past few years...most likely vision eh yg mcm dlm citer harry porter....eh yeker???? hahahaa....

Abg tanya "sue sebenarnya nk study or nk g oversea?" Gosh....I'm offended and what type of question was that!!! If abg fikir sue cuma buat sbb nak ikut org abg salah tau. Banyak benda yg sue sendiri fikir tapi tak mampu sue nk share dgn abg.Just don't know how to explain and make u listen. Sue cuma blh bgtau shima all the reasons but she seemed very sad smpi takmo ckp dgn sue takmo text sue bagai. No one support me right now except mak la yg tak putus2 bg smangat.

Sue ada alasan sendiri, first and foremost is because mmg sue nk buat full-time Master. Tak kisah la if buat in local university pon still takmo part-time. Secondly, mmg sue nk sgt keluar dr Malaysia sbb nk hirup udara negara lain kat bumi Allah ni. Sue nk cari pengalaman baru kat tempat org bukan setakat nk berjalan sehari dua but I want to live a life there experience their culture, lifestyle and so on which I can't get in my own country. Dalam dunia ni ada yg lebih besar nilainya daripada duit ringgit.....and I called it "pengalaman". I wish to find myself back. Thirdly, sue bebetul merajuk dgn TM and to be precise dgn bosses yg seolah2 menyekat rezeki sue bila sue sepatutnya dah dpt post exec kat Menara tapi takmo release dgn alasan yg mcm2. Sue, abg and other colleagues pon marah bila dpt tau bosses camtu tapi nk buat cemana saya ni ikan bilis jer (yeker tgk dah kembang mcm ikan kembung je wak hihihihi). Dah kalo bukan rezeki cemana buat pon ttp takan jd milik sue kan. Keempat sebab sue nk sambung study adalah kerana kami belum ada rezeki tuk ada anak. It's going to be the 4th years this coming May 2014 tipu lah kalau sue tak sedih tapi I chose not to think much and trouble myself. Kwn2 sue yg lain sume dah nak masuk 2org anak dorang. Tak guna merungut kan sbb rezeki kita Allah da agih2kan. Lebih baik sue blajar mungkin itu juga rezeki dari sudut lain kan.

Sue tak salahkan abg pon and will never coz sue paham maksud abg bila abg kata we've to think of our commitments all the loans cars and many others. Kalau ikut sue stahun bukan lama tp at the same time sue faham u won't quit ur career for this small silly thing. I didn't say "job" coz u can always find other if u willing to but once u've build up career it is almost impossible to give it up right. 

To be honest sue tak yakin pon sue akan dapat smbng oversea ni sebenarnya. I just wanna see how they react towards it. Sue nk tau siapa yg always ada dgn sue thru good times and bad. And if miracle happen say sue dpt possibility sue pergi sendiri agak tinggi juga kot tp apa pon sue ttap tau abg adalah kewajipan sue dunia akhirat...........Kalaulah abg faham dan baca apa yg sue cakap ni huhuhuhu. Yang penting kita tak abaikan TANGGUNGJAWAP kita kan awak :)

L.O.V.E

suhada